Mad As Axel
by FrankIeroRules
Summary: Of strange dog costumes, moogle-print underwear, picnic sex, and a crazy boss that Roxas just can't stop thinking about. AkuRoku.


It was a pleasant day as usual for Axel in his office that day – he could see his favourite little blonde through his door window, on his computer desktop, and on the custom-made calendar he worked so hard on.

Axel was in charge of the calendar section of a publishing company, so he could get some of his own made whenever he wanted, free of charge. Immediately upon hearing this, he decided that there would only be one calendar worth custom making: one that would have a picture of Roxas for every single month.

But this wasn't his main focus. He had always been one to try new things, so when he came across an article on the internet claiming to relieve stress and lead to a happier life, he didn't think twice about it.

The task was simple enough. Write a list of bad habits you want to fix, cut them out, stick them in a basket, and pull a new one out after you're confident about fixing the previous one. The only problem with it was that every single one of them had to do with Roxas, such as _'Stop fantasising about Roxas and actually listen in those important meetings'_ and _'Stop watching Roxas constantly in general'_.

Frustrated, he gave up for the moment and put the cut up pieces of paper to the side. He didn't have much work that day, and soon found himself staring at a rather oblivious blonde through the window on his door, before grinning to himself with an idea.

Meanwhile, the two friends and co-workers were chatting about a topic by far more innocent than the redhead's thoughts. Having just bought a dog, Roxas had plenty to tell and Demyx happily listened, adding comments here and there about his love for animals.

"So, what are you going to name him?" Demyx said, excited.

"Well, I don't know, yet..." Roxas smiled a little in thought. "Got any ideas?"

"Well... you could name it Axel, then buy a female one called Roxas and breed them!"

Laughing, he said "I still say there's nothing between us..."

"Roxas," Demyx raised his eyebrows with a smile, "I still say there is, therefore there must be! Anyway, you're blushing."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are," Demyx chuckled, "But back to the topic. I thought of a name."

"Yeah?"

"Bambi!" He ran a hand through his faux-mullet as a grin spread across the other's face. "It's cute, and it's not one of those common, over used ones!"

"I like it." Roxas grinned, mischievously. "Or, you know, I could name it Zexion and get a female one called Demyx, and... you can fill in the rest..."

"So, uh," Demyx's face flushed immediately and he quickly said, "What's it like with the dog?"

"Changing the subject!" Roxas wagged his eyebrows at the other, before saying, "Nah, it's pretty cute. I've bought all this stuff for it. You know there are costumes for dogs? Like... I saw princess costumes, as well! It's crazy!"

Demyx laughed and said, "Yeah, I've seen a few of them. Don't tell me you're going to buy one..."

"Well, I've bought a few things... Like this beret I saw. I just couldn't _not_ buy it! I saw a Snow White dress, too... And I can get it a dog-Tuxedo for when it goes on dates with other dogs..." He grinned.

Demyx looked at him in mock concern and said, "Careful, Rox, you're bordering on Axel's level of madness!"

The shorter blonde laughed at his comment and winked, saying, "Don't worry, Dem. I promise I won't turn into a stalkerish pyromaniac—"

"ROXAS~" The two turned around to see their boss calling from the other side of the room, leaning against the wall in what they thought was a rather feminine pose. Running a hand through his red spikes, he pushed himself off the wall and walked towards them slowly with a grin. "Can I please see you in my office, Roxy? Morning, Dem."

"Good morning, Axel!" Demyx said happily, as Roxas nodded with a smile and stood up. Demyx sent him a knowing look, which Roxas merely smiled at before walking past Axel and going into the room. His boss stared at him from behind, but didn't walk in afterwards.

"Stay here, I'll be back in a few minutes." He smiled, and walked off, leaving Roxas alone to look around the room.

The first thing he noticed was a calendar across the room from him that he didn't recognise. Everyone had a look at the calendars printed every year, so he walked in front of it out of curiosity.

'_Ha, that guy has major sex hair...'_ Was his first thought, before taking a closer look at the picture. _'Wait... is that me? No, it can't be... but I think it is... oh god.'_

It looked like him, sitting on _his_ couch, watching _his_ TV, in _his_ living room... there was no doubt about it. Feeling a mix of confusion, surprise and flattery – the last of the three confusing him even more – he took a look around the rest of the room, eyes finally locked onto a small basket in the middle of the desk.

'_What would he want with pieces of paper in a— ooh, what does this say?'_ He thought, picking one up and reading it aloud.

"Do not picture Roxas in stripper costumes to pass the time in meetings."

Fighting the urge to giggle, he stared at it until he heard the door knob turning, and stuck it in his pocket without thinking.

"Hey, Roxas, sorry." Axel walked in and shut the door behind him.

'_This man took pictures of me... and imagines me as a stripper... why aren't I creeped out?'_ The Roxas thought, his expression incredulous.

"Roxas...?" Axel waved a hand in front of his face and chuckled. "You there?"

"What? Uh, yeah. Sorry." The blonde laughed nervously, feeling the excitement welling in the pit of his stomach.

"Well, I was thinking, uh..." The redhead thought quickly – he hadn't thought of this far in the conversation. "New calendar idea!"

"...I'm not the one who deals with that..."

"Yes, but I wanted to share it with you anyway! I was thinking, uh, maybe... one with... um." Axel trailed off, before his face lit up. "One with something from every month! Like... February's got Valentine's day, December is Christmas, you know..." He was starting to regret calling his employee into his office, but was saved when he saw the time.

"Oh. Well, yeah, that's good." Roxas smiled, staring into his intense green eyes, too mesmerised to really think of a better response.

"Glad you like it." The redhead grinned. "But, I've got a meeting in about ten minutes, so I've got to prepare a bit for it... sorry."

'_Oh god, he's going to imagine me as a stripper. He's going to—'_

"Roxas?" Axel asked with raised eyebrows. "You okay?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry. Time for my lunch break anyway, bye." Roxas smiled sheepishly before leaving the room.

When approaching his smirking blonde co-worker, he didn't say a word, choosing instead to just give him the note with a goofy grin plastered across his completely red face.

"Ooh, he has kind of cute writing!"

"That's um... not what I was aiming for, but..."

"Ohh..." Demyx's smile widened as he wagged his eyebrows. "Looks like _someone_ wants to see you naked!"

Roxas felt self-conscious as everyone turned to face him with confused looks. "Um, lunch break! Come on, Demyx!"

He dragged Demyx out of the building as quick as he could, trying to ignore the other's fits of laughter.

**...**

After the lunch break, Demyx left for the afternoon, saying he had to go somewhere, leaving Roxas to get onto the work he was meant to have finished by then. However, he couldn't concentrate with his eyelids constantly drooping, and soon found himself napping at his desk.

After the meeting he had just attended, Axel walked past the desk, saw the sleeping blonde, and got an idea.

**...**

'_Well, this is odd…'_ was Roxas' first thought upon waking up. He could feel bedsheets on his skin as he moved, and opened his eyes, realising that the room did not look familiar at all.

Immediately throwing the bed sheets off himself, he felt unexpectedly cold, and looked down to find that he wasn't exactly how he was dressed for work – far from it. He was lying there, with nothing but his favourite pair of moogle-print underwear. His face flushed as he saw two post-it notes – one on top of the other – right over his crotch.

He took the first one off, which read: _"Why hello, dear Roxas. Sleep well? I couldn't help but notice how cute your underwear is. But it's not match for my... Roxas-print ones!" _

Bewildered, he started at it before deciding to read the second. Pulling it off, he read: _"Just joking. I originally meant to say my chocobo-print ones, but... Anyway, if I'm not there, please don't leave! I promise I won't be too creepy... –Love Axel ;)"_

Roxas decided that the only way to describe the moment was complete madness, and decided to go home. Looking around the room, and seeing a few pictures of someone that looked strikingly similar to himself – he didn't want to think about how his boss got them – he spotted a window and walked over to it, managing to open it after a minute or two.

Rubbing his arms in an attempt to keep them warm, he started to climb out the window, slowly making his way through, when he collided with something warm and was sent backwards onto the soft carpet. The only thing he could see was a pair of mesmerizing, green eyes and realised with excitement that Axel was on top of him.

"Hi there, Roxy." The redhead said in a low voice, and Roxas realised that if he got a bit, ahem, over-excited, the other would notice.

"Hi..." He muttered nervously in reply, feeling his cheeks heating up.

"Isn't this a cosy position?"

"Uh..." This was all that Roxas could get out, busy trying to get a hold on his thoughts.

"But! You didn't stay in the bed like I told you to..." Axel said with mock exasperation, grinning at the other. Before the blonde knew it, he was lifted up off the ground and gently placed on the bed.

"Oh..." Roxas giggled, before asking, "What time is it?"

"Um... 4am."

Roxas groaned, "It's too early to be awake!"

"Well, then at least you get to spend it with me, nice and warm in this bed..." Axel winked, "There's a reason I call it the Love-Bed, you know."

"Oh. Wait... that _is_ a joke, right?"

"It is now, but who knows what'll happen when we're both in here?" The redhead licked his lips, and Roxas grinned evilly, about to make some sort of remark when they heard the door opening and closing.

"Axel!" They heard someone calling, and Axel muttered something under his breath that Roxas didn't catch. "Wake up!"

"Marly?" Axel called out, and raced to the front of the house. Roxas found a dressing robe and put it on for warmth, before following him. A pink haired man looked at him in surprise with a grin.

"Why, hello there! I'm Marluxia, but you can just call me Marly." Marluxia hugged a befuddled Roxas, before going to the kitchen.

"I'm gonna go change, I'll be there in a sec." Axel walked off, leaving Roxas with the flamboyant man.

They passed the living room first, where Roxas noticed two finches and said, "He never told me he had pets."

"Yep! He named one Roxas and the other Axel, and says he's going to breed them!" Marluxia paused for a second, before turning to the blonde. "But I think the last part was just a joke... What's your name again?"

"Uh, Roxas..."

"Oh!" He laughed, "Well, at least I approve of his choices!"

Roxas smiled before answering, "Thanks...? Are you his roommate or something?"

"Nope, just the house keeper, but we've become quite good friends. I stay here most nights."

"Oh, I see." The blonde felt slightly jealous, but told himself to stop being so silly.

"Oh, and that's my robe, can I please have it back? I need to shower, sorry." Marluxia said with an apologetic expression, and Roxas gave it to him.

"Sure. Sorry, I thought it was Axel's."

"Oh, no, it's okay."

Roxas decided he liked Marluxia, when Axel came through the door. "Marly! What's for breakfast?"

"Nothing~! You've got no food. I'm having a shower now, then I'm going to go sleep. I met the most amazing man ever, his name was Vexen, and..."

Roxas stopped listening to him, instead focusing on Axel. After a while, Marluxia went, leaving the two alone in the kitchen. Axel checked the fridge before closing it dismay.

"Hm. He's right, there's nothing in here that we can have for dinner."

"Well... Somewhere should be open by now, right?"

"Oh, yeah! We can get, like... muffins or something!"

"Sure." Roxas grinned. To be honest, he didn't actually care what they got. He just wanted a chance to spend time with Axel, and if it meant buying breakfast, that's what he'd do.

To his dismay, however, they eventually had to go to work, where Roxas explained everything to Demyx, who merely winked and said, "Give it time..."

**...**

The next morning, Roxas was feeling a little adventurous – probably from the excitement leftover from his escapade with a certain redhead – and set himself a task of cooking himself eggs and bacon. Sure, it sounded simple enough, but he was too busy trying not to think of a certain redhead, the whole time grinning idiotically to himself. He only managed to concentrate upon noticing the flicker of a fire, and panicked, quickly turning it off and extinguishing it.

It took a moment until his thoughts returned to the other, with one simple comparison: _'Hey, Axel likes fire...'_

Feeling frustrated and a little embarrassed, he instead made a piece of toast with peanut butter – _'I wonder if Axel likes— NO.'_ – and ate it slowly, before realising that he almost forgot to feed his dog.

"BAMBI~" He shouted, not caring if the neighbours heard and thought he was crazy. His fluffy brown dog – wearing a Mickey Mouse outfit – walked slowly to the door, picking up speed when he saw his owner with a can of dog food. He had just finished emptying the contents into the bowl when he heard his doorbell rang.

Opening the door, he came face to face with Axel, who was smirking with a rose in his hands.

"Hey there, Rox." He said, walking inside.

"Oh, hey, Axel." Roxas felt almost giddy, but tried to calm himself down.

"I've organised a day off for us both, I was hoping you'd... come with me... on a picnic." Axel said, uncharacteristically nervous. Roxas felt his heart beat quickening, as his reply came out as a few words put together.

"OhmygodofcourseIwouldAxel!"

The redhead laughed, walking up to the other and giving him the rose. Roxas noticed his cheeks were a slightly redder than usual, and admired the flower before putting it in a moogle-shaped vase.

"Man, you really love those moogles, don't you..." Axel chuckled affectionately, unexpectedly putting his arms around the other.

"I'll give you a moment to get ready." Axel leaned down close to the other's face. "I'll be waiting in the car."

It took a moment for the blonde to realise that he was so close, and that he was suddenly kissing him. But as abruptly as it had happened, Axel was walking out of the room. Roxas changed as fast as he could, before running out to the car as well.

**...**

From the moment they started eating on the old, red picnic rug, it was clear to Roxas who was in charge in the relationship. Axel was completely pampering him – being a perfect gentleman and everything – and was currently feeding him chocolate mousse.

It was only when the blonde accidentally blurted out one of his thoughts that they really got anywhere, relationship-wise.

"Why did you imagine me as a stripper?"

"Oh, so that's where that piece of paper went..." Axel laughed nervously.

"Oh, yeah... sorry. But... why?"

"Well... you know... I like... imagining you?"

"...Why me?"

"Why not you? I like you more than anyone else, and... Well... You're really cute, and, uh..." Roxas realised he hadn't ever seen Axel stutter like this before. "IreallyloveyouRoxas."

"You... you do?" The blonde asked, incredulously, a wide smile spreading across his face.

"Yeah." The redhead ran his hands through his hair. "I mean, I understand if you don't, and whatever, but—"

"You idiot! Of course I do!" Roxas grabbed the other's collar, kissing him with all the force he could muster, before they pulled away for breath.

"...Picnic sex... I've never tried it before, you know..." Axel smirked.

"There's a first time for everything, then..." Roxas grinned, and the two continued kissing under the sun, not caring about the cat calls and remarks people said while walking past.

* * *

D'aww, Roxy in moogle-print undies~ And I saw someone walking a kimono-clad dog. And one in a hotdog outfit! xD I was curious and saw some others on Ebay, they're the cutest things, haha. Also, I know Marluxia's really quite OOC, but... I can just imagine him being like this. xD

This was inspired by Panic At The Disco's song called Mad As Rabbits. The lyrics are so random, I love them. xD I dun liek the ending, really. I had a lot of fun with this one, though! I'd love to know what you thought, thanks a lot for reading! :D

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Kingdom Hearts or its characters.


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